I had decided to take a vacation of 365 days the day i finished my studies. But even when the university left me, my devilish friends stayed on. The trouble they caused, continued.
“Good morning Mr. Jay Joshi. I am calling from “our great news channel.” We received the CV you sent. Would you like to come for an interview tomorrow?”
Within 48 hours of its commencement, my yearlong vacation received its death threat
“Huh?” I was perplexed. “I sent you my CV?”
I didn't even remember typing out one!
Something was wrong. Anyway, speculating my hyper active mom to be behind this, I decided to ruin the interview and approached the office of the said news channel.
The first shock I got was when a panelist at the table mentioned my talents. “So Mr. Joshi, I see you travelled quite a lot in the Middle East and Latin America.”
The memory of my dad telling me we couldn’t afford a trip to Andaman flashed in my mind.
“Sir, can I take a look at my CV?” I made a request in a diffident, fading voice. “I believe I submitted an older version of my bio data. I wish to make some additions” “Fine” they said.
The bio data was something as follows
Name: Jay Joshi
Educational qualifications
· Secondary School Certificate with 90% from Don Bosco High, Panaji
· Graduated with first class in mass communications from S.S. Dempo college f arts and science
· Master of Arts in international studies with first class from Goa University
Languages known: English, Hindi, Konkani, Marathi, French, Spanish, Arabic.
Countries visited: Oman, Jordan, Mexico, Brazil, Costa Rica, Thailand, Canada.
Experience: independent documentary film maker since 2010
Even more puzzling was the photograph. It was me, dressed in a suit, standing outside the Zarzulea palace. My face had been photo shopped on a picture of the King of Spain! It was a subtle gesture- a signature.
España
I would deal with that witch later. Now, I had an interview panel to repel. I simply decided to answer all their question s in negative and walk out.
“you’re an avid traveler,” began one of the panelists. “ so tell us a bit about the current condition in Oman” “i am afraid i have no knowledge about the country sir, “fine” cut in another guy “lets come to local scene then.” “What do you think about the politics of Goa?” “Goan politics is a complete mess, and the members of the legislative assembly are known by the people as and The Forty Thieves.”
“What problems do you think are a dominant theme on the forum of Goan politics?” “I would say nothing has yet reached the forum of politics. Issues like rampant mining and corruption have dominated the public debate but have failed to affect the unscrupulous political community.”
“Alright, last question.” “What do you have say about corruption?”
“Zilch! I don’t care! What’s the use of me thinking or saying when no one including me is doing anything about it?” I boomed “screw politics. I m selfish thug”
To my delight, all the panelists were now uncomfortable. I was told to go sit outside while they huddled in to have an animated discussion. I was confidant of my ‘disappointment quotient’ no one could stand me as it is. When I decide to be irritating, I am dangerous as a drunken monkey with a sword in his hand.
But my drunken monkey avatar proved counter productive in those corridors of the media! “we like your honesty” they said “you’re hired”
I did not know whether to laugh or to cry. I was accidentally hired. I decided to purposely get myself fired. I made a mental note to device a harakiri strategy over an evening tea and moved to the second task at hand. That bloody chick, that witty witch, devilish damsel...
“what the...why the...why me?” i couldn’t speak out of rage. “Oh, looks like you got the job! So how’d you like the photo?” “i will not work.” “You don’t have to!” “what do mean?” “let’s have a coffee at the usual place.” Part request, part order, she mumbled an invitation and hung up the phone.
Next moment we were in ‘Daily Bread’. “All you have to do is to help me a little with my documentary.” España explained as she rummaged her black backpack. This back pack was full of mysteries like a magician’s hat. The last time i had tried poking around in it, i got bitten by her pet guinea pig. On another occasion i had found eighty thousand rupees stuffed in an air sickness bag. Now she pulled out an old mobile phone from it.
“Now listen carefully.” She handed the phone over to me “take this phone and use it only to call the numbers that i tell you to call.” That’s it? i just call people? “Yes. You just call and get answers to questions I tell you to ask. Nothing more. I promise you i will wrap it all up in three days. What do i get from this? “Information for your new job and writing!” Ah, Now that was my weak point.
mwahahahahaha!!
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